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Do YOU have Pretty/Good Looking Privilege?? Does PRETTY HURT for you? What’s your story? (Masculine folks can also answer, this is a queer article…)
I feel like I have lost all of this in Japan and that’s been extremely challenging for me. Pretty girls drag their heavy suitcases up the stairs of the train station here, and because this is a social (supposedly everyone equal) society, you aren’t given extra rewards it seems for BEING pretty, just notice when you are not (for instance I am overweight for Japanese). This article talks about the intersectionality of LGBT gender prettiness, and she is a transwoman of color. I dress up pretty in Japan and no one will talk to me or acknowledge me. This, I have come to accept as normal even if it is totally the opposite of what I am used to in the U.S, Canada or Mexico. (probably Europe it would be different too).
BUT PRETTY AND SEXY ARE DIFFERENT AREN’T THEY?
I became aware of my sexiness and inclination to sexy at the age of 13. I was drawn to wearing the shortest skirts and make-up in the 7th grade. And I was voted best dressed in my junior high school probably due to the fearlessness that I still have now. But, once in high school EVERYTHING SHIFTED. Sexy was not okay. Pretty was. And I was virtually still looking the same, but I had hardly any friends in high school. But I was able to attract boys. Boys who would make out with me and leave me. I was never a slut, but I dressed pretty sexy so it was confusing for people. IT STILL IS!! I didn’t have a steady relationship in high school. So my pretty mixed with sexy rebel didn’t make me very popular. I wrote it off as race privilege, but I wasn’t very popular in the first POC high school I transferred from either.
The way I was able to come to terms with this…Pretty and being femme is something I can and want to do most of the time. But I also don’t want to do it ALL THE TIME. I even consciously fuck with this and dress up in Drag King or I just wear glasses and no makeup, and this is me half the time. You never know what ME you will be hanging with, and I like that. Because I experimented as a queer young adult with gender presentations and then I became a sex worker, i was able to really hyper analyze PRETTY AND SEXY POWER.
And being a sex worker suddenly I was compensated for it and it felt powerful for the first time in my life. But the intersectionality of it all! I was NEVER ABLE TO BE a high dollar pretty escort or stripper…it wasn’t until I trained in Tantra that I could be seen for inner qualities (intelligence, coaching ability, Tantra knowledge) and sensuality that uses attractiveness both physical AND spiritual that I really really was rewarded for who I was…
HOW ABOUT YOU??